Karin's Answers

My sister died 6 years ago from cancer and every day I still have something I want to say to her. I find myself literally thinking I need to call her and then I remember I can’t and my heart breaks all over again.  We were sisters and in the beginning we struggled but as we got older things changed and after she was gone I realized she was my very best friend.  We talked every single day, even if it was just for a minute.  It’s a hard adjustment and I don’t know that I’ll ever fully recover from her loss but what’s harder still is the impact it’s had on our family dynamic.  When she was alive we got together constantly, every birthday, every holiday and I always thought that’s because we were a strong family and that’s what families did.  What I realize now is that it was because that’s the way she wanted us to be.  She was the glue that held us together, that made sure we celebrated together.  She was something to every one of us and we all wanted to be there for her because she was there for us and in turn that made us there for the family, no matter what needed to be done.  Now that she’s gone I feel us drifting apart.  Each one of us moving in their own direction and I feel this huge hole growing in my heart, I miss my family.  I feel so isolated and alone without them.  I mean I have my husband and his family and I love them dearly but it’s just not the same.  I just wish I could feel more a part of their lives again and its my fault I don’t.  I need to fix that.  It will never be the same but it can be better and it will be.

I guess in the end all I’m trying to say is cherish the ones you love and make an effort to reach out to them at every opportunity.  Spend time together when you can because when they are gone and you realize everything you miss it will be that much harder to recover.  Share your life with them and they will share theirs with you.

And that’s all I have to say about that.  🙂