Karin's Answers

I got the strangest text today….apparently I left a bar and didn’t pay my bill.  I find this interesting for several reasons.  First, this is not a bar where I’m a regular so they always ask me for my card.  Second, every morning I wake up and ask myself if I remembered to pay my bill.  Finally, I’ve been questioning my drinking habits of late.  I’m spending to much money on something I rarely remember the next day.  I’m driving when I shouldn’t be and that’s dangerous for me and for those people on the road with me.  Also, my husband isn’t happy with my drinking habits and my dog is spending to much time alone.  Thinking about all of that I also realize that it’s not healthy.  My head hurts, my liver hurts, my heart hurts.  It’s time for a change.

But what do I do now??  There’s that BUT again.  I dread being alone.  I’ve spent most of my life alone and now that I’m married I should never be alone again.  It doesn’t work that way though.  My husband is gone all week long and only comes home on the weekends, when I’m lucky.  That gives me a lot of time alone.  SO…what do I do to occupy my time and make life exciting without going out every night????  It’s a good question.

Why is that what I need to do and what I know I’m good at always seem to be my least favorite thing to do?  I mean that’s not completely true.  I enjoy it but once I move away from it, I am not motivated to go back.  That’s the problem….lack of motivation.  I always thought I would be more.  I am certainly capable of more.  Why am I not motivated to be more?

So begins the next period of my life.  Let’s see what tomorrow brings.