Karin's Answers

I often find myself wondering how it is I became this person….not that I don’t like myself, I do.  I guess it’s just more a question of why am I not more??  Why do I not live up to my potential.  I know not everyone has the potential to be the next superstar, or genius but I’ve always believed I was destined to be more.  Someone people look up to, want to be, without realizing it.  If that makes sense….LOL

I do my part, I think.  I take care of my family at every opportunity.  I try to be there for them and for my friends.  I listen when I need to, I talk when I need to.  I donate anonymously because I don’t want everyone to ohhh and ahhhh and tell me how great my donations are.  I do it because I want everyone to be as happy as I am, and I am happy. I have a good life.  I live in a great neighborhood.  I have some great friends.  I have a great family that supports me in everything I do, even when it’s completely crazy. I’ve also found a wonderful husband who loves me more than I deserve, and I love him more than I ever thought I would but…..but….BUT.

The BUT in my life is what gets me every time.  I find I’m lost.  No matter how hard I want to try or how much I do I always feel like I’m not doing enough, I’m not enough.  Probably because I’m not.  I don’t strive, I don’t work, I don’t do more.  I find I just sit and wonder why it is that I’m not doing more without doing anything.  It really affects everything I do.  I’m not working as hard as I should.  I’m not trying to do better, to be better and there’s always an opportunity for improvement.  I don’t seem to want to learn or grow.  I simply want to sit and stare and cry and wish.  I want to be different, to be better, but I don’t want to work for it.  I just want it to fall in my lap.  Why is that??  When I did I become so lazy?????

I don’t think this is anything I can answer tonight, but at least I’m thinking about it right?  To all of you out there going through the same struggle, good luck!  Let me know if you find any answers……